The thoughts of a loveless man

I guess my blog is receiving the minimalistic treatment. I honestly am sorry for this, I wanted to make this blog become something but it's not really going that way. I just have too much on at the moment - a 5,000 word essay due Friday that I haven't even started, a severe lack of money and too many things to pay out for, big decisions to make, people to think of and BBC adaptations of bestselling books that are breaking my heart. I'm also trying to gun for the 'Summer of Fun' approach this year. I refuse to spend yet another Summer sat in an office, working 40/50 hours a week, counting down the days until each weekend and not enjoying myself. After Easter I'm going to keep working hard and hopefully spend my Summer travelling around Sweden, I need goals, I need motivation. I miss my mum.

That's all I want to say tonight. So I'll finish the post with a beautiful piece of work from the God that is Ludovico Einaudi. Enjoy your week.

Where We First Met

1am’s bitter coffee has gone cold
and love still comes too late
it’s been something like six days now
yet i sit here for you every night
i sit here and wait 

can you remember when we crossed paths here early on that fateful day? i’d just come here for a pick-me-up, you were trying to run away. you said you’d come back to see me when you’d sorted everything out, you then ran for the bus. my swimming eyes longing for the sight of you, longing for another “us”.

Loveless

my eyes were made of stained glass
which 
smashed
as i softly collapsed
blindly into you
and all the things that you do

We've All Been Here

your voice is the chorus and echo
on a tear stained bed
e-mails left unanswered
& texts left unread 

Ambience

…and i felt the world pass me by
with a sky like a renaissance painting
the rain soaked grass told me to keep searching
and i counted their blades that made up the distance
between me and you 

Once again I never learn when it comes to deadlines, so I will more than likely be pulling an all-nighter over this essay that to be honest, I don’t really give two shits about. I only have 800 more words to write followed by the referencing, footnoting and the bibliography, but I feel I’m just repeating myself over and over again and coming up with new ideas/material for it is like getting blood out of a stone.

Roll on hand-in at midday, then a rustic lunch and revision session with Kate, Nicki and Luca at Kate's apartment, followed by some well earned drinks with Amber, Flora and my History of Art girls. What you sow, you shall reap Lewi. or something like that.

Clasped Hands

it’s cost me a fortune in thoughts to get here
and the time apart from you was like the snow clipping my skin as it flung past me in such a hurry
i nearly lost myself with it

Good evening! Sorry once again about my sporadic updates, but as you can now see I now have GLASSES! I don't have to wear them all of the time but they're still taking some getting used to. What do you think of them?
I've mainly been enjoying the company of my housemates, playing lots of Skyrim, staying up until 5am doing uni work that i shouldn't have left until the last minute and wishing I had enough money to return to Stockholm and Paris (but Stockholm especially). my Swedish lessons are still going well and I'm tempted to take up German classes as they are provided free of charge at the uni, and since I studied German in school it'd be a lot easier - who knows? Tomorrow I will be laying in bed all day as I didn't go to bed until 5.30am last night due to a very heavy night out with Matt, and Saturday I am working, then going to see my coursemate Kate and her wife DJ at a pub in the south lanes - very good! Remember to keep clicking the ads on my page as much as you can, I get paid for each click and all the money I raise will go towards my flight back to Sweden - so you get to do your good deed for the day, and I go back to the city I've barely stopped thinking about since last May, a win-win right? I hope you're all having a lovely week.

From me

i won't apologise for the lack of updates - but happy 2012 everyone! it took me two days to recover from my celebrations so you can perhaps gather what kind of night i had!

in other news, i'm now "seeing someone", we're not in a relationship just yet though as things are extremely complicated as usual and i don't really want to say more than that at the moment.
i really wish i'd gone back to oxford after my new year celebrations. the novelty of having the house to myself in brighton has worn off and i'm lonely and bored. i've been feel upset and emotional all day for little to no reason and i can't put my finger on why. i spoke with owen for an hour earlier which improved my mood for a short while but i've now slipped back into the rut i've been in all day. i think part of my problem is lack of routine - i'm sure come this weekend when all my housemates return and i start uni again next week and i find out if i'm being kept on at topman(?!) that everything will go back to normal and i'll be feeling fine again. or at least i really hope so.

i would show you a photo of something interesting i've been up to etc but whatever i'd post would just be a lie. i hope you're all feeling better today than i am!