Scratches On My Neck

The sea in front of me was cold, and I could hear it crying - weeping sorrowful waves that lapped against a burdened shoreline. Angelic choruses resounded all around, echoing from the light and shadows that emit from the strangely coloured, almost ethereal clouds. The black hole still hungrily sucking in all that it could. I wish I knew more about this place, and how I got here, and why there are others here too, watching their fate be consumed by something they don't know.

Scratches On My Face

I finally saw the end of the world - an abrupt, vast hole of nothingness that sucked all the emotion from me, bits of cities and memories floated past, sucked into the atomos. The wind violently blowing my hair and long coat, as I stood on the edge of the world, wondering if jumping towards the darkness, I would fall or float.

HAI, hey, hello! Sorry for giving you next-to-nothing in terms of updates, I've been very busy with work and sorting money out and going on dates (yes, miracles do happen) amongst other things. The week or so of glorious sunshine was so much appreciated and I spent most of my days on the beach with friends both old and new - come back already Sun!

Uni is so close to being over for the Summer I can taste it. I have an essay to hand in next Friday, and then an exhibition critique for the week after (which is so easy I'll probably hammer it out in one night) then I am FREE. Today is also the first day of June, which is also my birthday month and generally a month of happiness from looking back on previous ones, so I hope this year it continues to be the same. The Jubilee can bugger off however, as I am working all four days of the Bank Holiday. Thanks retail!

After The Lunch

I came across this beautiful poem being read aloud by the beautiful Sophie Dahl (who I've since developed a big, big crush on) on her cookery programme that I was watching clips of on YouTube to procrastinate from exam revision. What do you think?

On Waterloo Bridge where we said our goodbyes,
the weather conditions bring tears to my eyes.
I wipe them away with a black woolly glove
And try not to notice I've fallen in love

On Waterloo Bridge I am trying to think:
This is nothing. you're high on the charm and the drink.
But the juke-box inside me is playing a song
That says something different. And when was it wrong?

On Waterloo Bridge with the wind in my hair
I am tempted to skip. You're a fool. I don't care.
the head does its best but the heart is the boss-
I admit it before I am halfway across

Wendy Cope

Decisions

(deep breath...)

So, I've decided I'm just going to stop worrying. About pretty much everything. It doesn't help me or anybody around me and very rarely does it help the actual situation at hand. I'm just going to roll with the good times and even roll with the bad times and change what is within my power to change, and anything that is out of my control - I will leave for fate to decide. I'm blessed to have incredibly supportive, caring and generous friends who I don't actually think I could be without, and I am lucky to have good things in my life (both material and not), and those are the kinds of things I need to hold onto, not angst and woe.

So, onto my promised update of Great Escape Festival! (even if it is a little late!)

I'm not going to do a full on, in-depth cover of the festival as to be honest 1. it happened over a week ago and 2. you probably all won't care as it's old news now, but know that I had a fantastic time and I've definitely caught the festival bug (if such a thing exists!) I got to see some fantastic bands and I got the best of both worlds - the festival atmosphere of great music, good friends both old and new and (expensive!) drinking, whilst avoiding the horrors of camping (call me a Prince but camping is something that really does not appeal to me. If I wanted to wallow around in my own sweat and piss for three days, I could do that in my own home). My highlights were Niki & The Dove, Grimes, Lianne Le Havas (watch out for this lady!), Nordic Giants, Vondelpark and Jonquil, I'll be sure to upload some photos (myself and George took hundreds, no exaggeration, so I need to filter through them all!) and share them all with you when I'm not feeling tired and tipsy from too much cava consumption with Veronika.

So the past two weeks in general have been absolutely awful. I've lost sleep, cried, had panic attacks and seriously considered dropping everything and fleeing the city over money, Uni work and Topshop (which I may have to unfortunately quit). Fortunately thanks to the aforementioned help of friends both near and far and my ever faithful mum, I'm nearly back on track and determined to face this week with a fresh face.

On Saturday night I headed up into the forest near my house with Matt, we lit a small bonfire and burnt some personal memorabilia belonging to him and his ex-girlfriend. I hope he feels better from it all now. I managed to snap a couple of photos I'm pleased with:

Then today Veronika, a good friend who I met whilst living in halls, contacted me to ask if I wanted to take a walk as she as recently broken up with her ex-boyfriend (I should be paid for my therapy services!) so once again, we headed up into the forest near my house and up onto the hills, where we jumped the fence and sat on this mount which was covered in reeds and wild flowers, it was so pretty. We sat and talked and drank cheap, sparkling wine and put the world to rights for nearly an hour, before running down the hill screaming, being homophobically abused, getting more wine and ordered a Papa John's whilst smoking far too many cigarettes. The soundtrack to our pizza consumption was this album, with this song being mine and Veronika's favourite:

And to leave you, here are the photos I took of Veronika whilst we were up on the hills, with a sneaky one she took of me. The next post will be photos of Great Escape Festival, where the subject will then be laid to rest!

What did you get up to this weekend?

Hi guys! Having a bit of a meltdown at the moment - don't worry, I haven't done or said anything stupid and haven't been taken away by the men in white coats either, I'm just letting everything get on top of me! I do however, have plans to sort things out so I'm counting on next week to be nice to me. Once everything has calmed down, I will fill you all in on my drama filled life and Great Escape Festival, amongst other things!

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated for a few days, I swear I'm still recovering from the partying and antics that Great Escape and this weekend in general have bought - I'm tired quite literally all of the time! It's gone midnight right now so I'm going to try and go to sleep early (yes this is early for me) and hopefully wake up feeling fresh in the morning, where I will try and fill you in on the Great Escape Festival via the mediums of written word and photography. I hope you're all keeping well!